I will start this post by saying my husband and I both have pet allergies. He is severely allergic to cats and I’m mildly allergic to pet dander, whatever that is. We talked very early on even before marriage about pet’s and if they would have a place in our family. Our decision was that we would not be pet owners , due to the allergies and just general dislike of animal fur around the house, and how they can be fairly restrictive to your lifestyle as far as traveling, even short weekends away.
It had been suggested to me a year or two into our fertility journey that maybe we should get a puppy. I quickly explained that a puppy is NOT a baby. I didn’t want a dog, I wanted a baby and a dog was not going to replace that want. I am well aware that dogs bring many people lots of joy and love.
My husband grew up with out door dogs and I grew up with a small in door dog. My dog caused a lot of stress on my parent’s marriage. He was quite naughty and towards the end of our time with him he was diagnosed as mentally unstable due to his behaviors and had to be put down. My experience with dogs so far has not lead me to identify as a “dog person.”
I had accepted being pet less as we focused on our fertility treatments because at that point I was still going to get my baby, or so I thought. Lately however I do feel myself being drawn towards and craving the companionship and love that a dog might be able to offer us now that our baby plans have changed. I work from home and it can be quite lonely to be home alone all day without any other living thing to talk to or snuggle with or just be around.
My husband is still completely against bringing a pet into our home. His argument is that we already decided years ago never to have pets. My counter to that is that we also decided years ago to have children. Those plans have changed and therefore I think we need to grow and adapt and not pigeon hold ourselves to a decision we made almost ten years ago when our reality since then has completely changed.
I do have fears that I wouldn’t be a good pet owner because I don’t always like other peoples dogs even when they are well behaved. I have always said I didn’t want a dog because essentially they never grow up. You will always have to feed them, give them water, walk them, and clean up there poop. I do not envy the dog walkers I see carrying big plastic bags of feces on what looks like an otherwise nice walk around the neighborhood. Eventually babies grow up and become independent people, dog’s never do. That is why I have never seen them as a logical replacement for one another. It’s not like, can’t have a baby , get a dog, easy fix, they are two completely different and unrelated life choices.
I guess what has changed for me is that I would like to have some companionship around the house during the day so I’m not so lonely. I don’t think hubby really gets how isolating it is and I really think a small furry friend could be the cure. I also don’t want to rock the boat by pushing and pushing the issue and them him finally caving and then we get a dog and it’s a total nightmare barking, pooping and peeing all over the house and smelling it up and he is really unhappy. I do tend to put his happiness and comfort before my own as a habit. Perhaps this is important enough that I need to advocate for my own happiness.
I have done a little research and I think the best fit of a dog for my situation and our small home would be a french bull dog. We really need the least shedding option and a breed that is small to medium but not hyper. I really just want a buddy to love and hang out with all day and keep me company. Any dog owners out there have suggestions of other breeds that might be a good fit for our family? Also anyone have thought’s on dogs vs. babies? Have other people with infertility had people suggest a puppy as a quick fix? I can’t wait to hear your responses this topic has been on my mind a lot lately and I’m interested to hear what other’s think!