Shopping for Genes (get it)!

I’m SO happy about all the wonderful responses I received after my last post. I have dug deep into all the fabulous donor egg blogs suggested to me. Every post I read from them I could relate to and seeing there adorable baby announcements and bump posts gave me hope that those are all in my future too! We received our latest test result from the new doc and we knew my AMH was really low .5 but my FSH came back in the normal range however I had a really low ATF (amount of resting follicals on day 3). The low ATF plus the low AMH plus our history of failed IVFs and the fact that I only made 3 eggs the last retrieval almost 3 years ago puts us in the position of DE as our best option moving forward.

If you can’t tell already I have warmed way up to the idea of donor eggs. Like so warmed up that I already picked a donor! Which is why I can’t wait to get the show on the road with this process. So here is what happened. I did massive amounts of research and spent every night reading blogs written by wonderful women who used donor eggs and have beautiful babies and are living happily ever after or are currently pregnant and loving every second of there new bumps and I decided that this was our next step. It gives us a chance at having nearly everything we want. Literally the only box it doesn’t check as far as fulfilling our wants is that genetically I won’t technically be related, but I will have carried the baby for nine months and birthed it so I dare anyone to tell me after all that that he or she isn’t “really” mine. Some new information I have read about donor eggs says your body decides which genes are expressed and that possibly some DNA gets passed from me to the baby in the placenta or something. All very cool stuff but at this point being genetically related to my child has become very unimportant to me. I have an absolutely beautiful sweet niece from my brother and his wife and while I don’t think we look identical by any means she calls me her twin and acts very much like I did when I was growing up and honestly if that’s that closest connection biologically that I end up having to a child I am perfectly fine with that. I have made my peace.

Once I decided that I was fully on board with DE I went on our clinics website and checked out our options through them. They offer fresh DE which seems to be what most of the other DE mommy bloggers have used, at least the ones I have read. In fact if anyone has used Frozen donor eggs from a bank please leave a comment because so far that option is much more appealing to me but I haven’t read many first hand accounts of people using it. After discussing it my husband and we thought Frozen DE from the bank our clinic works with would be a great option for us, we live a few hours from our doctors office so logistically it works better and I like that we know how many we are getting it won’t be another added anxiety of whether or not our fresh donor produces enough eggs. We would receive 8 frozen oocyte eggs and there is a guarantee that if none of the eggs once mixed with the sperm grow into a viable transferable embryo we get a new set for free.

So I search the egg bank website for hours every night writing down donor numbers that appealed to me based on there baby pics and general info. Then I dug into each profile checking medical histories and essays they wrote and personality qualities and narrowed it down from there. I nixed women with anxiety or depression listed, even if it was listed as situational. If I get to choose my kids genes I’m going to avoid passing on those things that I myself carry that are not desirable if they can avoided! Anyways I got really nitty gritty with it and I had showed my hubby a few and he wasn’t excited about them and neither was I so I kept looking. Then I found HER, she has my dark curly hair, a really big pretty smile, she’s tall, which a lot of the donors weren’t and I am, and she has brown almond shaped eyes like me. We don’t look identical but I would say we have enough of the same characteristics that shes a really good match for my physically. I LOVED her answers on her essay she seems so sweet and NORMAL and her medical history is pristine. When I showed my husband her adult picture which we were able to view after signing the anonymity contract with the egg bank he said she’s the one. I had felt that same sense of calm when I opened her picture for the first time myself, it was like oh here she is and she is perfect for us. Actually I think finding her is what finally made the decision for me that I was not only 100% on board with donor eggs but if I got to use her eggs and her genetics then I was EXCITED about it. I’m ready to get started making OUR baby with the genes that we got to pick, now I just hope they fit(haha). I’m really getting into this genetics humor.